If Teddy Ruxpin Is The Anti-Christ,
What Does That Make Ted Danson?


Hi, I watch Joan of Arcadia, therefore I'm a practicing Christian.
Well. In My World, anyway. In My World Jesus makes the popcorn and we watch Joan of Arcadia together. Naked.
Umm. Point? No. Thanks for playing, please try again.
Oh, while I'm on the subject of religion (another line I use to pick up boys outside CVS), there's this Catholic church down the road from my house that has what I can only describe as a billboard sign on the front lawn, each week displaying a Fresh and Cheery Catholic Message. Well. First of all, it's important to note that I was once in a car accident involving this sign and the tragically bad movie Final Destination. Now. This week the sign says
"The Worst Liars ... Your Own Fears."
Jesus Christ on rollerskates, can someone explain that to me? What do "the worst liars" have to do with my fear of being murdered by Farrah Fawcett while she rocks out to Duran Duran? Or my fear of my toaster coming to life and toasting me to death in my sleep?
Anyone? Amber Tamblyn? Ted Danson's wife?