God Stained My Carpet Blue,
And He Probably Helped The Monkeys Steal My Voice, Too

I haven't been posting because I found God.
In an alley behind CVS.
Any more information would be a direct violation of the Confidentiality Agreement they made me sign. They? Yeah, they.
And there's really nothing else I can say until God and his Apostles pack up their traveling alley circus and head for greener, holier pastures. There is one thing though (and I'm pretty sure this won't violate any confidentiality), a love between God and I could never work. How do I know? Because God walks around the house while brushing his teeth, instead of just standing in the bathroom in front of the sink. You know, like a normal person. Bastard.